Goodbye Grandma

As I mentioned earlier in March, Mom and Dad had moved on to Florida to help Grandma, as she had been having increasingly severe health problems since the fall. My dad had already made several trips there over the winter, and at the beginning of march, they decided to go and stay with Grandma to help her recover and make the inevitable adjustment to life in a nursing home.

Grandma's recovery was brought to an abrupt hault on Sunday, March 22, when she was taken to the hospital for X-rays and CT scans because her condition was declining rapidly. The diagnosis: aggressive pancreatic cancer which had spread to her lungs and possibly her gall bladder. Grandma was immediately moved to hospice care and kept comfortable with morphine as necessary. Dad and Mom were able to spend time with her during her last days and say their "goodbyes" and "I love yous".

She passed away at 9:25pm on Wednesday, March 25.

Goodbye grandma. You'll be missed.

Finally.

After 3 years of waiting, I finally have passion flowers and fruit!

I haven't picked any of the fruit yet, but I'm so excited about the flowers!!!!

I think they might be my favorite flower.

6 Month Checkup, Part 2

We went back to the doctor on Tuesday. Cassidy's breathing sounds a little better; "not as junky" is what the doctor said. She's still wheezing pretty good though, so we've added steroids to the nebulizer treatments twice a day, along with an oral steroid medication once a day. If things aren't sounding better with her cough and congestion by Sunday or Monday, we'll go back to see the doctor again on Tuesday or Wednesday. Doc said the next step will be antibiotics, but we'd like to avoid that if possible.

A friend added to my relief that we aren't dealing with RSV the other day when she said that when her son had RSV, they had to do Neb treatments 2 or 3 times a day for an entire year! I hope we can knock this bronchitis out without a time span like that.

Next week Monday I'm scheduled to have surgery to repair an umbilical hernia resulting from the c-section. I found out that was the cause of my "outie" back in January after doing some stomach exercises. Since then, I've been debating on whether to go ahead and have it fixed now, or wait until I have my fibroids removed. Since the fibroid surgery is still an abstract concept for me as it's a major surgery with a 6 week recovery time, I decided it was better to fix the hernia now, before it developed into a serious issue. I'm excited to be done with it because I've been worried about it since I found out it was a hernia, but I've got a bit of anxiety about another surgery.

6 month checkup

Cassidy's six month checkup was last week tuesday. She weighed in at 17lbs and measured 24 inches. This puts her at 75% for weight and 10% for length - not surprising I guess considering the heights of Jeff and I ... I know we've got some recessive tall genes in there somewhere, so I'm still hopeful. Her head measurement finally made the charts; it's been measuring too small for the charts until now, but I don't recall exactly what the measurement was.

More importantly, we discussed her ongoing cough which she demonstrated nicely for the doc, as well as her nasal congestion. The doc wasn't surprised by the nasal congestion, but was quite concerned after listening to Cassidy breathe. She's got a good bit of wheezing in her lungs going on, so the doc tested her for RSV, which thankfully was negative. We came home with a prescription for a nebulizer and a bronchial dialator, so we are doing breathing treatments 3 times a day.

Jeff doing Cassidy's nighttime NEB treatment

The nasal congestion got worse again this weekend, and along with that came more coughing and a fever on saturday, so we are off to the doctor again tomorrow to find out what's going on and to see if her chest congestion is clearing with the nebulizer treatments. Because of the chest congestion, the doc decided to hold off on her 6 month vaccines so there's no confusion on the cause of a fever should whatever's going on with her lungs get worse.

Despite the ongoing cold and cough, Cassidy is a ridiculously happy baby.

She's all smiles just about every day, mostly fussing just when she's hungry and overtired. She's getting pretty efficient at eating her rice cereal twice a day now, and is intent on holding the spoon herself, even if it's just to chew on it (those bottom front teeth are just about to come through).

She also chews on the high chair table between bites, working her way back and forth on it like it's a cob of corn.

Mommy Brain?

Jeff has been preoccupied all week with thoughts of watching basketball. He decided to take a half day off to head to a friends house who hosts a basketball watching extravaganza every march including games on 4 tvs accompanied by food and drinks, so I know Jeff's been looking forward to that all week.

This morning, we got moving a bit earlier than normal so Jeff could drop off Cassidy at daycare and get to work early, in anticipation of leaving work at lunchtime for some guy talk and basketball watching. So I kissed them goodbye, and off they went.

A bit later, I headed into the kitchen to make myself breakfast and opened the refrigerator to find Cassidy's bottles for the day still hanging out on the top shelf. I closed the door, walked into the hallway by the front door, and found her diaper bag and nebulizer bag (more on this later) sitting right in their place where we leave them at night.

So I picked up the phone, dialed Jeff's cell number, and here's what we said...

jeff: Hello?
jen: Hi.
jeff: I forgot everything, didn't I?
jen: Yes. You have the baby, right?
jeff: Yes, I remembered her.
jen: That's good. I'll drop everything else off at daycare.

I've heard of women putting things in random places, like phones or remotes in the refrigerator or purse, baby items in random places they don't belong, and I've even found myself doing such things and wondering what's wrong with me?

I wonder if this is the guy version of 'Mommy Brain'.... is that why it's called "March Madness"?

6 months

Cassidy turned 6 months on thursday. She's doing great and we couldn't be happier! We have our 6 month checkup with our pediatrician this tuesday, so we'll be checking with her about Cassidy's ongoing colds and coughs. It'll also be interesting to see where she falls on the growth charts! She's catching up in her pants sizes (we finally moved up from the 0-3month pants to the 3-6 month size) and she's started wearing her 6-9 month clothes, though most of her 3-6 month tops and onsies still fit just fine.

Yesterday we were boxing up the clothes she's ALREADY outgrown, and we both got a little teary eyed about how fast she's growing up. Boy are we in for it over the coming years!

Baxter, jealous one that he is, insisted on getting in on our photo shoot!

Maintaining My Identity

One of my fears about being a mom is that I'll get so wrapped up in my child, that I'll forget who I am. I don't want to be someone who lets go of everything they are in order to be a parent because I don't think it's healthy ... for parent or child.

Some people I know would call me selfish, would be appalled at the thought of doing things without their children, of taking time for themselves. I don't understand this mentality, though I can see how it would be easy to forget to take care of myself.

It's definitely more of an effort now... to step away from the things that "need" too be done around the house, to wash the bottles later, to let the laundry wait one more day, to let Jeff hold down the fort while I do what I want to do... whether that's shower, take a walk, or sit quietly and read for a bit.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been taking time to myself (in between nursing sessions, of course) and working on another painting.

I've still go to put the finishing touches on the edges that are against the easel, but that'll have to wait a few weeks until the rest dries. Here's a look at our new art for the kitchen wall.

While working on this one, I had a lot of time to reflect on how lucky I am to have a husband who agrees with my belief in the importance of adding to one's identity while learning to be a parent rather than replacing it. He not only allows me time to do the things I like to do by taking care of Cassidy, he encourages it... suggesting that I take time to paint, walk, or do whatever I'd like to do. I'm sure many husbands out there are not so involved or so willing to do the work that goes into parenting. He knows that I crave time alone and isn't offended that I don't want to spend every moment with him. He is selfless and supportive, and I'm lucky to have him.

Cassidy's First Day at the Beach

Coconut Beach, that is.

On Saturday we spent the afternoon at Coconut Beach, the local volleyball venue. This was the first time I've played in the sand since the fall of 2007, before getting pregnant. It wasn't nearly as bad as I expected, and much better than my last two attempts at outdoor volleyball on grass. I'm slowly getting back into shape, and gaining some of my muscle back.

But enough about me ... could Cassidy be any cuter?

Sad Day

Wednesday was a sad day for us here in New Orleans. Mom and Dad gave up the house they were renting here and left for Florida. They had originally planned to spend March with us as well, but Grandma has developed some severe health problems over the last couple of months. She needs their help and support more than we do here.

So Cassidy began full time daycare this week, which is kicking her ass. She's always had a difficult time napping while at daycare, and sometimes at home too for that matter, but usually caught up on the days she was home with my parents with at least one long nap. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week she cat napped throughout the day, with a total sleep time of maybe an hour or an hour and a half each day (on Wednesday she took two 20 minute naps... that's it!) She'd also nap on the way home from daycare, usually only 20 or 30 minutes, and then would be up for the rest of the evening, running out of steam around 9:00 or 9:30 when I'd nurse her one last time before bed. Then she'd normally sleep until 6:30 or 7 the next morning.

On thursday she hit her limit ... she slept for about 2 and a half hours at daycare, spread out throughout the day. Then she fell asleep on our way home at 5:30 and slept... and slept... and slept. We finally woke her up at 9:30 to change her into her sleep sack, feed her, and put her right back to bed at 11:00. And then she slept some more.... all the way until 7:30 this morning.

I'm sure this lack of napping isn't helping her to beat one cold after the next that she's been getting, so hopefully she'll find a way to sleep while at daycare. There is just so much going on there that it's tough for her not to watch it all! She's so curious and interested in everything now; even nursing her is a challenge sometimes because if she catches a glimpse of one of the dogs or the cat walking by, she stops to check them out.

We are enjoying all these new developments so much and are so sorry that my parents won't be here this month to experience them with us. But we are so thankful that they could be here with us since September 10th! And so grateful for all they did to help us make the adjustment to parenthood.

Thank you mom and dad. We really appreciate everything you've done for us and are so happy we were able to share this amazing time with you.

In one end, out the other?

This week we began introducing Cassidy to rice cereal with a tiny amount each night after her evening meal, and she's doing great. Last night, during her second attempt, we took some video to remember the moment, and got more than we bargained for.

(Notice the color change to Cassidy's face and her expression! I think it was much more obvious in person than in this video)

My favorite part is the funny shiver at the end!