Monday, July 27, 2009

Another Kind of Guilt...

Cassidy's sick. Again.
On Friday evening she started with a dry, painful sounding cough.

Saturday morning she woke up and sounded just horrible - Cough, congestion, hoarse voice. We took her in to see the on call doctor, who diagnosed the normal "viral bronchitis" with instructions to increase her breathing treatments to 3 times a day again, and see our normal doctor monday or tuesday. She wasn't acting sick at all, just congested.

Sunday morning she was running a low grade fever, but it was back down to normal by mid- morning, and she still wasn't acting sick. All smiles most of the day, with the occasional cough, sounding wheezy, but better than saturday.

Today she was at daycare all day, and a bit "irritable" as they described it; but she ate well and played all day. I thought she felt warm when we got home, but her temperature was normal. By 7:00, she was wheezing, whining, fussing, not eating her solids, and running a temperature of 101.0. She still nursed well and took her bottle. We've dosed her with tylenol, Jeff is doing her breathing treatment right now, and we're putting her to bed early hoping for a full night's sleep, but not really expecting it.

Every time she gets sick, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing by working. I wonder if she would still have all these breathing issues and colds if she wasn't in daycare. Every time she coughs or wheezes, I feel guilty, like I'm a bad mom.

Yet I also already feel guilty that I won't be working a full day tomorrow since she shouldn't go to daycare within 24 hours of running a fever. I'll likely try to go in early, set up an experiment, come home to watch Cassidy until her doctor's appointment at 3:30, and go back to work after Jeff gets home to finish up my work. I don't feel guilty about being unproductive anymore while at work ... even though my experiments aren't working all the time, I feel that I work hard most days. It's more the time away from work that I stress about... even if it's when I'm sick.

How do I find some sense of balance as a working mom? Is it even possible? Will I feel this torn for the next 4 years, until she's in school during the day?

3 comments:

  1. Actually, I hear it gets worse as they get older... not so much with getting sick, but wanting to be a part of all their activities and missing work for all of that. Sigh.

    It is all about what works best for you. Do what feels right for you and your family.

    Cassidy will eventually build up her immune system I imagine. Has the doctor weighed in on why this is such a chronic problem for Cassidy? Have you been able to talk to other parents who have had kids with similar issues to get a feel for how they manged and what their road was like? That may help relive you of some of this guilt. (maybe not but worth a try???)

    Wish we got together more often!

    I'm sorry. I wish I was really superwoman and could keep a kid other other than Bug. :-(

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  2. I can realate...but don't beat yourself up! It does you no good. You are a great mom. Remember, the first year in day care is the worse, but she will be healthy when she is school age. Sydney was ALWAYS sick in daycare (albeit no breathing treatments) I missed a lot of work but, this past year, not nearly as bad. It is tough, but hang in there!

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  3. We have talked to the doctor, and the pulmonolgist about the breathing issues. Both agree that it's the residual effects of a virus that she had, either RSV or some other. Everyone I've talked to said she will outgrow the chronic breathing problems, usually around a year, but sometimes as old as two. Jeff said all the other kids at daycare seem sick too, but none with breathing problems. I think the daycare is preventing; washing toys and hands, etc.

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